MarMar Madness

I am a fast  girl.  No, not a fast runner.  I do things fast.  I eat fast.  Just ask my kids. I woof down my dinner and have to wait for them.  I sew fast....I love to hear the needle humming.  I breath fast.  I think fast (not always coherently, mind you).  I am going a mile a minute in my head often.  I clean fast.  Mow the lawn fast.  However, I do math slow.  :)      I know fast is good for some things. Good for getting to where you want to be on time.  For getting chores done.  For typing.  For jogging / walking / exercising.    But in reality, it is better to go at a bit slower pace.  I often talk to myself and try to calm the "fast" part of me down.  I can see where I am headed on the fast train. I know I am going to mess up and yet somehow, the fast side usually wins, despite the obvious consequences.  I am a clutz because of this need to be fast.  S...

    I have have been experiencing a lot of "new"s in my life of late.  New living situation.  New school.  New experiences daily that I am relishing, savouring and devouring.  I started school at the Bonnie Gordon College of Confectionary Arts on Sept 12 and in the past 10 days I have had the biggest smile on my face. You simply can't wipe it off...ok, it has been rubbed off a couple of times but at least it comes back quick if smeared away.      I am seeing new faces, meeting new people, doing new things.  As to new faces.  One of the discoveries I have made in this time is that the area of Eglinton and Allen is a beautiful Jewish neighbourbood.  There are lots of fancy cars and men wearing suits with their "kippa's".  There are a few bagel shops and an Israeli store by my school.  I have yet to venture in to get a bagel...but I will soon!  I love it all!  It's a new place with lots to discover....

     The person who is struggling the most with the girls going back to school isn't me after all...it's Luci.  I guess it's understandable.  She had 2 playmates with her all summer.  2 big girls who would do whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted.  One older one to go for walks around the block with and another to play barbies and polly pockets with. Her wish was their command!      Kamrin is Luci's other mom.  It's good and it's bad all at the same time.  I do enjoy having her home for the summer - I have a lot more flexibility and freedom to go out and she can babysit!  Mikka, well, she is another playmate...but Luci actually calls her Mom.  Often I will hear Lu call out, "Mom!" and I'll say "yes?" and she'll say, "No, not you, Mikka Mom!  You are Grandma!"...something I am not too thrilled about but let slide!  I am not ready to board the Grandma train quite yet!!!     ...

     My kids are great - truly, they are remarkable people.  I like hanging around them, I love to snuggle with them and feel them close.  That is, until I am trying to get to sleep.  True, it was sweet to sleep together when they were tiny.  They didn't hurt when they kicked.  They didn't smell too bad when they passed gas.  I used to love snuggling in bed with my girls when they were wee.  They smelled so good, so fresh and, well, so tiny - if that even is a smell....       I remember being tucked in at night by my mom growing up.  She had a wee prayer written on a card for Kara and I to learn and say each night.  "Dear Jesus.  As I come before you now, I pray that you will show me how, to do the things I do just right, and keep me safe all through the night.  Please bless me Lord and then just take me as I am, for Jesus' sake, Amen."  Funny how some things just stick...I will go ...