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Slowing down...

I am a fast  girl.  No, not a fast runner.  I do things fast.  I eat fast.  Just ask my kids. I woof down my dinner and have to wait for them.  I sew fast....I love to hear the needle humming.  I breath fast.  I think fast (not always coherently, mind you).  I am going a mile a minute in my head often.  I clean fast.  Mow the lawn fast.  However, I do math slow.  :)
     I know fast is good for some things. Good for getting to where you want to be on time.  For getting chores done.  For typing.  For jogging / walking / exercising.    But in reality, it is better to go at a bit slower pace.  I often talk to myself and try to calm the "fast" part of me down.  I can see where I am headed on the fast train. I know I am going to mess up and yet somehow, the fast side usually wins, despite the obvious consequences.  I am a clutz because of this need to be fast.  Slowing down is something I need to work on.
     At my school, slow and steady wins the race.  Taking your time, sitting back and evaluating - are traits that are required for cake art.  I am an artist, ergo, sitting back doesn't happen often with me.  (mother - daughter...apple - tree!!)   That being said, I do love to knead fondant and find the whole practice quite calming. 
     Today I had to create a cake.  We had to come up with a plan, an idea, a concept.  I came up with one and then started to panic.  I found myself looking at the clock and wanting to beat it.  I lost my  train of thought on how to best do what I wanted.  Too many choices, too many options.  I wanted desperately to do well, and I didn't have the knowledge, tools, or know-how to  do all I wanted to.  And then I started to work fast.  Too fast.  I wanted to see the finished product. 
     I can often hide this blemish in my character.  I can make excuses for it, give it logic.  However, today it was noticed and commented on.  And not just by anyone.  By Bonnie Gordon.  She and I had had a meeting about other issues I had raised at the school (I'll tell you about that one later...just pat me on my back for stepping out of my comfort zone BIG time today....)  For those who don't know - Bonnie is the owner of the school I am attending.  She is a master at cake craft. A wizard. A star.  She and I had an interesting discussion today and during our chat, she used me as an example of how to improve.  She told me she thinks I work too fast.  That I need to slow down.  She said I need to get in a "zen zone" and focus and take it slow.  It wasn't new news.  I know this is a fault of mine and I work at trying to  remedy it daily.  But to have her notice and make me aware that I can NOT be fast when doing cake art was good for me. 
     I could have taken her comment / criticism and thrown it out and gotten defensive. Instead, I knew she was right and promised to try to work slower, to pace myself and sit back and enjoy.   I took the criticism and plan on working at that flaw in my nature.  I want to do my cakes well.  I want to succeed and be proud of my work.  I intend on it.  And I know that if I just sit back, take some deep breaths and think it all through, then I am going to be good at this whole cake thing.  Heck, I better be....it's on my sisters dime!!!

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