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My Shadow

     I have a shadow.  Yes, I know, we all do at certain angles, in certain light.  But my shadow has nothing to do with the sun, my lack of shaving or being in a gloomy mood.  My shadow only hangs out for short periods of time during the year.  If you've seen me when my parents are around,  you've seen my shadow.  My Dad.  He is my side kick, my buddy, my sugar daddy, my shadow. 
     Funny thing about my Dad -  he used to drive me so incredibly nuts it was insane.  And I know I used to drive him nuts too.  Actually, I know I still do sometimes....but it's all good...we now know how to work it all out. 
     Dad stopped being my "boss", "manager", "slave-driver", when I got married.  After a single ceremony I wasn't his problem.  It was awesome.  All of a sudden I couldn't complain to Dad about things... there was some one else who got to deal with me.  I was no longer around at  home to be lippy and disobedient to him, to smart-ass him, to roll my eyes at him.  He was free of any parental obligation to make me behave and it worked to our advantage.  I started to like my Dad cause he wasn't in charge of me.  I think we both probably found it all pretty liberating.
     When my parents come to visit me and the girls in Toronto, I quickly resort back to being the baby of the family.  I fast reclaim my right of being their little girl.  I know, it's wierd, but it's hard to avoid and even harder to explain.  I love it when they swoop in to take care of me, to reassure me, to compliment and build me up.  But when they get off that plane I know I have no more life, no more time to myself - no privacy.  I have a wart, a growth, a Robin to my Batman - my Dad - attached to me, taking each step with me.  He'll go any where with me....grocery store, sports games, walks, school pick ups, open houses, kids events, the mall...I am never alone.  Yes, sometimes I just say, NO...but overall, I really do enjoy his company.           
     Dad and I have cool conversations.  He believes in me and that I have intelligence. We can raise questions, debate, argue and agree to disagree.  I could never do that growing up.  He reads signage on the street out loud when we drive by.  He freaks out when I drive thru any amber light.  He criticizes how fast I drive.  Heck, he's the one who taught me how to drive.  In fact, he did such a bad job at it I nearly failed my test and the instructor told me never to listen to my dad's instructions on driving again.  A few years of  driving in Bangkok made him a crazy driver!!!  But he is also the first to say I rock at directions and maps and is always impressed at my location understanding-moxie. 
     Now with my family life changing and shifting, my Dad has again swooped in to be my provider, pal, side kick - my shadow.  I love having him  around.  I love that I can only walk on one side of him when walking and talking as he is deaf in one ear.  I love how he teases my kids and annoys the heck out of them, just like he used to do with me.  I love how he always wants only the best for me.   Don't get me wrong - he still drives me to the point of near insanity sometimes, but then I remember, I have his debit card in my wallet, and let it all slide! 
    
    

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