It's All In A Name

I am big on names.   I ask people for them,  inquire and don't feel stupid about it.  I ask other people what someone else's  name is if I  don't know.  I love knowing names.  Maybe it's my dad's influence - always give a firm handshake and get a name.  I am not a business person - but I understand the value of a name.  Names give someone meaning.  It says, "I care enough about you to remember something important about you", ie : your name.  I have made some good friends by just going out of my way to ask a name.  I remember Tracy - sitting quietly in the foyer of the school - it took me a few months to go over and ask her name.  She was and still is, shy, and didn't talk to anyone much.  I went over one day and sat beside her and asked her name.   Now, if I am being honest, I did forget and had to look it up again in the school directory at a later date - but I felt good by giving her the gift of knowing her name.  There are times when I ask and forget.  I just get over my embarrassment and ask again.  I love it when people do that to me.  My friend Francesca said that to me the other day about when she first met me.  She felt bad that she couldn't remember my name but knew I wasn't the type to get put off about someone asking again- and so she did and we've never forgotten since.  The ones that hang over my head are the times when I am around a person for a couple of years and never knew their names. We say the casual hi's and carry on...our kids skate together...I know their kids, their skating schedule, what van they drive....but I never got around to asking their names and after a year - well, I just have a hard time asking.  This is where you ask someone else.  I did it this weekend and now will be able to attach a name to my greeting - to make them know I am interested in them too - it just took me some time to get their name in a covert manner!  Names give people an identity.  I am at the rink all the time and have made friends with all the maintenance guys.  I see them every day - we hang out and chat and I have become good friends with a couple of them.  I always ask them the other guys' names that work there and when I say hi to them, you should see the smile on their faces.  It's nice to be recognized and remembered.  One of my favorites was this year with a new mom at the school.  I went up to her one day and introduced myself.  I had Luci with me and introduced her too.  I brought her over to a group of friends and introduced her to everyone.  I was proud of myself for reaching out.  A couple of months went by and I always said hi and chatted with her.  She always said hi too....but not always my name.  No sweat.  Then one day I didn't have Luci attached to me and she said, to me, "Hi Luci".  I looked at her.  She looked at me and I started laughing .  All these months she thought my name was Luci.  I told her it wasn't and had a good chuckle at her expense.  Fortunately she is a confident woman and could take it!  But trust me, now she doesn't forget my name!  When I introduce myself to people, I know my name is kinda different and perhaps harder to remember.  I will often say, just think of Bob Marley.  That often works.  But now, I am often remembered because of the movie / book "Marley and Me".  It's all good - spelling's wrong...but I let it go.  But I still have lots to work on with names and people.  I messed up last night.  I was with my friend Leslie and her daughter Maddyson.  We were, of course, at the rink and I saw my friend Gisele and her daughter, Catarina.  I made the parental intro's and omitted the kids.  It didn't occur to me until about an hour later what a dumbass I was.  I realized that these kids are people worthy of name recognition too and feel bad for not being included in the circle.  I will make a better effort next time to introduce kids and get their names as well.  When we were kids, you spoke to adults with their designated prefix and last name.  I always called people Mr or Mrs.  It was what you did. But today, things are different.  It's a first name world and I even have to work at.  When I was growing up Mr. MacDonald insisted I call him Jamie.  I was in grade 5 or  6 at the time.  I couldn't do it.  He kept telling me, "stop calling me Mr. MacDonald".  I just couldn't.  It took me a couple of years and I still hesistate sometimes - but I can call him Jamie now and not feel too wierd.  There are some people that should just have prefixes though.  I have one friend, Mr. Goode.  He's not Mr. Goode, he's Capt. Ray.  Always has been, always will be.  And then there's Dr. Dave....No Mr. Anderson, or Uncle Dave...it must be Dr. Dave...still is.  I like using prefixes but know it's dated now! 
It's the little things.  Knowing a name, remembering a name,  and asking a name is simple, but it can do so much for one's soul.  I can't tell you how much I love hearing my name.  Sounds wierd.  But it's not said often in our home.  Darren just says what he wants, never my name.  The kids call me mom / mommy and Charlie just stares at me.  I know telepathically she is saying my name, but again, I can't hear it.  I like to hear my name.  And I love knowing others too.