So, the day arrived - a day I have been looking forward to for weeks. My Date with my Hairdresser. His name is Alex. He is happily married with 3 beautiful children. But he is still one of my most favourite men. I simply go in there - get my jacket hung for me, am offered beverages and then seated and asked, sincerely, how I am and what is new. Alex got an earful this morning - but he is a good listener! We have great banter, share ideas and sarcasm and although he's not my husband - he is still very special to me as he makes my hair shine! :) My other date was with myself at the gym. I enjoy sweating and feeling muscles twitch and shake as I push myself to lift more and lift it higher. It is my time to myself. A time to think of what's going on in my life right now, watch other people with idle curiosity, or plan my week- while listening to wicked tunes on my ipod. No phones to answer, no kids to deal with (they are in the day care), nor a husband to help out. I often feel like a completely spoiled housewife when I am working out. Here I am, doing my thing, feeling good and then I have a moment of guilt as I know others are out there working their tails off-some in mundane jobs, thankless work, or even a cool job....and then I realize, heck, I work too....it's just different work. It's all good. Housewife is a category to check off the employment list too. One person/thing I love more than my hairdresser (and husband and kids too sometimes) is my dog, Charlie. She is my companion and best pal. She is my snuggler and kisser. She and I have dates on the couch just chatting and hanging out. There isn't much I wouldn't do for that wee dog. I had to clean up a winters worth of her dog doo out of the back yard this evening. It was disgusting - but necessary. As I was being super-pooper mom, I realized that my dates for myself today weren't really about me at all. Yes, I do benefit from the hair and eyebrow wax, from the exercise and kid-free time, and from the shit-free yard....but at the end of the day - a day for me is really my gift to everyone else. I go to the gym to lose weight, look good and feel great. Result: my kids get a mom who looks ok, they aren't embarrassed about me, I have energy to play with them, to run around with them to their activities, and I am in a better mood all around. I can be a nice mom. The hair cut makes me feel good about myself. Some may say that's shallow, but I bet they don't have good hair. When I leave the hairdresser I feel confident and sexy. The gray is all gone....I don't feel old and frumpy. Darren, Kamrin, Mikka and Luci get a wife / mom who is peppy and ready to help them with any task - thanks to another man! :) And Charlie scores a yard with no khakha! My patience grows as does my willingness to do for others when I focus on myself within reason. So - a day for myself does benefit me, but it also a gift I can give to everyone else around me because I am healthy and happy and ready to GO!
I have a hard time believing I am ok. I struggle with the acceptance that I can do things. This, in return, halts me from branching out and doing some things that would challenge me and possibly make me more of a well-rounded and confident person. I have confidence. I know I am a good mom (most days). I know I am a patient and kind wife (again, most days). But still, I lack in believing in myself. Years ago I decided to do something for myself and enrolled in the night course at Humber College to do Interior Design. I LOVED being back at school. I was scared silly - but was so glad to be sitting in the back of a class room with my pen and paper in hand - ready to tackle hues, colours and shades! I had a great year and did really well. However, I went and got pregnant and had to quit school. Doh! I was good at the design thing....but deep down was probably happy to have to resign as my next course was drafting and th...
hot mama.
ReplyDeleteYou are the best looking mom I know...you have it all Marlea and it is worth keeping it in shape!!......and I feel the very same way about Geri......love that lile dog!!
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