When I was a kid I lied a lot. I took change out my moms purse and my dad's night stand. I would sneak different clothes to school to change into sometimes and put on a wee bit of make up. I remember lying about going to a movie in Bangkok with a friend of mine. It was fun for a while but then the guilt overcame me and I had an episode of True Confessions with my mother. I would also lie at boarding school and hang out with the sailors that were in port (CRAZY!) Some lies were bigger than others. Little lies were my forte when I was little- but I soon developed a healthy fear of consequences. In university, one day, sitting around with friends, I was asked why I didn't do anything "bad"...at 18 my honest answer was "cause I would get in trouble". Why I lied as a little kid? No idea. It's not like I had anything really big and awful to hide or needed something and lying was a way to get it. I learned, growing up, that lying was bad and had to work hard to put the habit to rest. Lying is on my mind lots cause I have little kids...one little kid in particular that has my identical genes and is trying out the whole lying game. Mikka says them lots...little ones here or there...a dream she made up, an encounter or experience she had....maybe a tad bit of truth mixed in...or is it her perception? Who knows...all I know is lying happens in my house. Kamrin, well, again, is like Kara and doesn't lie. She will try and then give up mid sentence - it's pretty funny to watch. Or she'll start with a story and embellish it and then go back and say, "well, it probably wasn't EXACTLY like that." What I love most about being their mom is reading their body language when they are in a lie or about to do one. I can read it a mile away. I am sure my parents saw it in me too and probably laughed behind closed doors at my silliness. The other day Mikka was in the tub with Luci - they love to play in the tub together with their barbies and elastics and soap - doing the dolls hair. I bought the girls some nice kid shampoo - not the cheap stuff - and always tell the girls to use just a little. I am a big fan of freaking out on the rest of the family when they use too much shampoo (just ask Darren, the king of using too much shampoo).
As I got Mikka out of the tub I noticed a slight film in the water and more bubbles than ought to be. "What's with the water?" I asked. Mikka looked at me and shrugged and came up with "Oh, I thought the shampoo was body soap". BAM - I saw it...the slight twitch of her lip, the quick look away and need to dry herself fast. I lifted the shampoo bottle I had just bought and it was much lighter. I looked at the placid looking barbies in the tub and their EXTRA clean hair and knew - she had been giving the barbies a salon treatment that included washing their hair with loads of my expensive kid shampoo. I looked at her and said, "Do you think I am stupid?" She just gawked at me - trying to hide behind her veil of deceit. Sent to her room without a 'tuck-in' book, she sobbed her apology for lying. I told her to be quiet and think about the lie she just told. No, it wasn't a big one...but it was in my face and it was the principle of it. After a time in her room I went and spoke to her some more. She was visibly upset for making me, as I said she had, Sad. I was sad that she didn't trust me enough to tell me the truth. Upset that she would think that it was okay to lie. Sad because I have taught her better and she disrespected me and our values. We hugged lots and kissed and I explained there would not have been as big a problem if she just said she washed the dolls hair. Honesty is the best policy. But what got me that evening was her, sitting in her bed hugging her wee cashmere pillow (thanks for the sweater Auntie - it was made into Mikka's favourite pillow! ) she cried out this sentence that will stick with me forever as it's not what I would expect from a 7 year old. She sobbed out "I made such a fool of myself lying to you". At that my heart melted and I knew right then and there that I was doing a good job being a mom. I could put a check in the positive side of the mom chart today!
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